I Drive Real Good On The Driveway…

I tend to get very verbal while I am driving. I can be alone or with my children and sometimes even when I am on the phone. I am verbal. I can’t help that others don’t drive as well as I do. My theory is this…

1. If you are going to go slow in the fast lane on the freeway, can you please pull over onto the shoulder so I can pass your ass?
2. If you are in the right hand lane at a light, have the common courtesy to turn right!
3. Do you REALLY need to have 100 yards in between you and the car in front of you…when we are all STOPPED???
4. If you must TEXT, CHECK YOUR EMAIL or DIAL YOUR PHONE PULL THE F@*& OVER!
5. If you don’t know where you are going, please don’t slow down at every single street to read the street sign.
6. A stop sign is not a place for you to catch up on your email, text messages or voice mail!
7. I am trying to keep my eye on you while driving, you would make it so much easier if you would learn to stay in your own lane…my dance space, your dance space.
8. If you need to be in my lane, please go right ahead, but continue at a nice pace, don’t slam on the friggin brakes as soon as you pull in front of me!
9. If you continue to ride your brakes, I will start to ride your ass.  It’s what I do, so I suggest you get out of my way.
10. Red means stop. Yellow means go if you can’t stop in time, stop if you can and green means go.  Red does not mean catch up on text and email so you miss green and yellow!
11. If you leave your blinker on, I expect you to turn SOMEWHERE.
12. If I wanted to listen to your music, I would ride in your car, please have some respect and turn your radio down.
13. Do not throw your garbage out of your window so that it flies onto my clean car. I like to take care of my car and really do not appreciate your debris being flung around, not to mention it’s illegal.
14. If you see there is traffic in the lane that you want to be in, don’t go in the lane over to cut into the front of the line and then stop to get over, therefore backing up traffic in the next lane.
15. Vanity plates are just plain irritating.
16. When pulling up to let your children off in the carpool drop off line at school, if you feel you need to get out of the car to help them, there is a thing for that, it’s called walk ups, you might want to try it.
17. If you feel you must go the speed limit or under the speed limit could you please do so in another city? Thanks!